28) Why We Need to Learn How to Love and Accept Ourselves on Video

This week’s blog post and podcast is about learning to accept our perceived flaws and imperfections when we watch ourselves on video. I will begin by sharing why it is so important to understand and truly accept ourselves exactly as we are when we see ourselves. Next I will share examples of how I have accepted various “flaws” about myself in relation to being on video and how the process might look if you try to do that too. Finally, I will discuss how this all relates to the Law of Attraction and how it impacts manifesting the results we really want in our lives.

Okay, so let’s start with why it is so important to accept and love ourselves exactly as we are on video. The biggest reason is because it feels absolutely terrible when we don’t. We either avoid cameras or pictures all together or we beat ourselves up for our supposed flaws, try to hide them, and feel shame. We may start to feel like we are not good enough or pretty enough. Sometimes we even think we are fundamentally different than our fellow humans and the only one who hates to see herself on video The problem with this other than the obvious, is that we get stuck in this programming and are not inspired to do anything new and different. We know that thoughts create feelings, those lead to action and give us our results. If we continue to believe all of these terrible thoughts about ourselves and don’t recognize that it is really brain BS, we will never trigger new feelings that inspire us to do better and strive for more. Before we can get better, we have to learn how to love ourselves exactly as we are.

Another reason why we want to accept and love ourselves as we are, is because we cannot love others unconditionally if we cannot do that for ourselves. If we determine that we have to be perfect and flawless for us to feel good about ourselves, then that is what we do with other people. Expecting perfection is an impossible standard to place on those around us, and they will disappoint for sure because they are humans with brains. In addition, everybody has their own standards of perfection and they do not always look the same. Once we can forgive ourselves for being human and having “flaws”, we will be much more compassionate and less judgmental of those around us. What will that mean for us bottom line? We get to experience way more time of feeling good and way less time in self-induced suffering.

Now, let’s get to the good part where I happily share a few of my flaws! I can do that because I have done the work to get to a place where I no longer hide them. Well, I don’t hide the ones I am aware of, but I am sure there are still some flaws hidden in there that will reveal themselves over the years. The difference now is I can face my flaws, accept them, and not turn them into a big drama. I can do that because I love myself and accept myself exactly as I am now. It takes some courage, a lot of internal work, and persistent effort but it is definitely doable. I highly recommend it because the pay-off is huge!

Alright, my first flaw I am going to share with you is that I have a Persistent Motor Neuron Twitch that I have had my entire life. This means I get genetic urges to twitch my eyes, my nose and my lip that sometimes just cannot be denied. The urge to succumb to the twitch can vary in its intensity but it is always worse with stress and anxiety. I can control it for periods of time, but it is always there. When I was younger it was terrible because I was intimidated by my dad and always felt like I was doing something that annoyed him (of course now I know the way he acted was his brain BS!). As an adult, the intensity of the twitch has varied and has gotten pretty out of hand at times., but not too bad for the most part. Anyways, being a life coach requires me to do videos, recorded coaching sessions, and to accept and love myself as I am (even with a twitch) if I am going to help other women to do that too.

That means I HAVE to watch myself on video which is something I have never had to do in the past. In fact, I went to great lengths to avoid that. When I first started advertising, I purposely did one and done unedited videos to get past that discomfort of seeing myself. I noticed the more I did them, the less I was concerned about what anybody else might think. I noticed when I voiced the things that made me feel the most shame, they were no longer painful. I noticed when I had terrible thoughts about myself because I kind of talk on one side of my mouth, it kind of became funny. I noticed that if I cannot look at video of myself, then I do not truly accept and love myself as I am. Not loving myself and accepting myself is no longer an option for me. In fact, it is what matters most to me. So since I cannot change my Persistent Motor Neuron Twitch or how I talk, I have to change the way I am thinking about myself and choose thoughts that inspire love. The way I know I have been truly able to do that? I finally watched a 15-minute segment of myself getting coached by Brooke Castillo in April. I knew it was valuable to watch the video because it can be so illuminating to hear the coaching again when you are not in it. Sure, it took me two months to watch that video because I knew I must have been twitching. And I was. And it is ok. I just watched myself, did not resist my feelings of discomfort, and breathed into them until they dissipated. I actually laughed at myself a couple times and thought to myself, I love you so much. You are so brave for getting coached in front of all those people and I still find you lovable despite your twitching.

In fact, watching myself on video with that twitch is what inspired me to make it a topic on this week’s blog and podcast. We are so hard on ourselves ladies, and it is not necessary. Our thoughts are optional, so we have to stop believing that we are not beautiful and awesome exactly as we are. I spent years denying that twitch was as evident as it is, but no more! I am going to speak freely about it and let other women know that they do not have to be perfect either. See how it works? Are you starting to figure out a theme here? If we don’t make our supposed flaws a big deal, then they aren’t a big deal. Simple as that.

Okay, let’s talk about another reason I don’t like to watch myself on video. I am not a calm and quiet kind of gal. In fact, I can get pretty loud and gregarious. I also can sometimes get over excited to share and interrupt people while they are speaking. While I have always admired quiet and sophisticated women, I am just not one of them.🤣 I try to be mindful of when I am speaking and being a good listener but, sometimes Zoom is a challenge for me when it is in a group setting. So when I am a little wound up and excited about something, I can see myself on video and think calm the heck down sister. The way I deal with that is I choose to love myself for being passionate and enthusiastic instead of calm and quiet. I choose to love myself for being more caring than sophisticated. I choose to love myself for being so invested in what my clients need, that I jump the gun sometimes and start speaking too soon. I choose to love myself for caring so much about helping other women that I became an online coach and have to watch myself on video all the time!

Let’s discuss one more reason why I don’t like to see myself on video and that would be when I have sushi-face. I have spoken about this in other blog posts and podcast episodes, but I will remind you that sushi face is when your face is bloated after a weekend of indulging in tasty wine, flour, sugar and salty foods. Now my face tends to get bigger as soon as my weight goes over 150 even without sushi face. With sushi face and added weight, I found it very difficult to watch myself on video. I usually will not make a video on Monday or Tuesday if I have Sushi Face, which is an effective strategy. While I cannot do much about my Persistent Motor Neuron Twitch, I could do something about my weight, and I did. I bring this up because if weight gain is keeping you from watching yourself on video and loving yourself, then it is time to lose weight. I understand that it can be challenging with getting older, but I did it, so I know it is not as hard as we make it out to be. We just don’t want to experience any uncomfortable emotions and changing the way we eat and drink at the beginning of weight loss is a big adjustment, but it gets easier. Another option is to choose to not lose weight and learn how to love yourself exactly how you are. The only way that you can claim that as a success is if you change the way you are thinking and truly feel love for yourself, and totally accept what you look like when you see yourself on video. I point this out because if there is something you cannot change no matter how much you want, then you have to accept it. If you can change it but choose not to and continue to not like seeing yourself on video, the question then is why would you do that to yourself?

So now we will discuss how The Law of Attraction plays into all of this because you know how obsessed I am with it! If I can manifest what I want in life, then please tell me everything about it. I want to know all of it! So what point of attraction do you think it is creating for you when you cannot even look at yourself on video because it causes you shame or self-loathing? I am guessing not a very good one. In fact, we know that anything that makes us feel bad comes from the ego and our brain BS so it must be a very low vibration. Is that what you want for your life? To attract more experiences that inspire you to feel shame and self-loathing? Not me. I want to raise my vibration so I can enjoy my life and attract experiences and other humans who bring me joy and satisfaction. How do I do that? By not focusing on what I don’t have or what is not working. I have to get to a place where I request what I want from the Universe, lean back and trust the process that if I do my part, it is coming to me. That means the goal is to feel as good as I can as often as I can. How do I do that? By managing my mind, choosing thoughts on purpose, and releasing all the uncomfortable emotions. If I can do that, good stuff is on the way for sure. The problem is it is not always easy to stay in a state of gratitude and satisfaction when you do not have what you want, and you do not look like the way you look on video.

Well there you have it. I have explained why it is important to love and accept yourself on video and the implications of doing or not doing that. I have shared a few reasons why I did not like to watch myself on video and how I worked through it. I also discussed how The Law of Attraction plays into all of this and why it is so important to sincerely love yourself if you want to create a higher vibration that will attract what you truly want in your life. Otherwise, if you do not consciously choose your thoughts and manage your mind, your subconscious where brain BS lives, is your point of attraction. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want more brain BS, I want less! Join me in The Brain BS Podcast to discuss this further.