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We Don't Get To Decide How Other People Should Behave When They Get Sick!

In the podcast episode this week,I talk about men who are overly dramatic when they get sick and how it annoys many of us. I started out the episode with a little humor and focused on men and their shortcomings, but then became aware of my Brain BS! I also became aware of just how judgmental I can be when I think people are behaving like "wimps". I started out the episode with one intention and it totally took an unexpected turn.


The conversation begins by challenging the internal narratives and judgments we harbor as people who often dismiss our partner's dramatic reactions to illness. I want to offer to you that perhaps the problem is not that people (this truly is not a gender specific behavior ) are overreacting but more that the partners/caregiver are overly critical. This perspective shifts opens the door to a broader discussion about traditional gender roles, vulnerability, and emotional reactions that we have when our loved ones don't act the way we think they should when they get sick.


In this episode we explore how the Eight Loving Actions that Susan Page writes about in her book Why Talking is Not Enough can help us to approach the situation differently when our partner does not act the way we think they should when they get sick.. In fact, these Actions can be utilized as an ongoing practice that can strengthen all of your relationships in every situation. Click here to Listen to the podcast episode this week and to learn how to implement the Actions into your life.. Or click here to listen to the episode I did previously with Susan Page when she came on the podcast to talk about her book to learn more about the Eight Loving Actions.


I give personal examples in this episode of how I have implemented these Actions myself when my partner has gotten sick and behaved differently than I would. I show you just how empowering adopting these actions can be and how they pay off in major ways. Remember, whenever we get triggered by something our partner is doing it has more to do with us than them. It is always an invitation to go inward to figure out what is going on in our brains..


This episode encourages listeners to approach relationships from a leadership energy and practice restraint where they normally judge and to extend understanding when faced with our partners perceived limitations during times of illness. This requires us to tap into both acceptance and compassion for ourselves and our loved ones. This is a skill we want to cultivate because as we get older we will likely be put in either the role of being sick or the caregiver taking care of the sick person on a more frequent basis.


As the episode draws to a close, I give some support to those in the caregiving role. The journey is not an easy one, and the path is often strewn with challenges that test the limits of our empathy and patience. Taking care of my parents at the end of their lives was the most stressful situation I have dealt with up until this point in my life. While it was super challenging, it was also an invitation for me to step into my own leadership energy and become a more empowered and capable caregiver and that energy has extended to every area of my life now. I invite you to do the same sooner rather than later.


In summary, the podcast episode is a mix of personal stories, practical advice, and insightful reflections that encourage us to reconsider our perceptions of caregiving and the stereotypes that often overshadow the realities of love and sickness. It's an invitation to step back, reassess, and perhaps find that the remedy for a strained relationship lies not in changing our partners, but in withholding judgment and transforming our approach to love and care.


Call to Action

Your call to action this week is two fold; First step is to go look in the mirror and get real. Are you a kind and loving partner who accepts your partner and what you perceive to be their limitations when they get sick? Or are you a human with a brain and sometimes more like the critical judge like I have been? The first step toward changing anything about your self is self-awareness.


The next step is to implement one of the Eight Loving Actions the next time you find yourself challenged with a partner who is sick and behaving in a way that triggers you. Then come back here and share how it worked for you in the comments!


PS: This pic is of me and my Mom. She was the first person I had to help at the end of life and I learned so much from my role as a caregiver in that experience. It was her birthday yesterday:)





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