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24) Trusting the Process

This week’s Brain BS Blog and Podcast were inspired by my morning walk in the forest preserve last week. I am going to tell you what happened and how I was initially thinking when I first became aware of an unusual situation. I also want to share how I changed my mindset and recognized the need to trust the process and not intervene, which does not come naturally to me. Lastly, I want to discuss how this lesson from the Universe was timely and perfect for me in relation to my coaching business and how it is also relevant to you.

Okay, so I was walking up the forest path the other day and when I was turning around the bend, I saw a deer walk across the street to the opposite side of the road of where I was. Soon after, she turned to cross the street again but this time in my direction, stopped midway, and then turned back to the opposite side of the road and disappeared into the bushes. I was wondering what the heck is she doing? I had never seen that type of behavior before and was intrigued. Meanwhile, I also saw that a couple bicyclists had stopped to look at the deer and thought maybe that is why she decided to turn back, to get away from us humans. As it turns out, they stopped to watch a baby fawn walking unsteadily in the tall grass. She must have gotten a little turned around because she was walking away from her or mom, instead of toward her. I am not kidding when I say this fawn was almost as small as my dog Ginger! I had never seen one so small before. The baby was standing alone in the tall grass and had been separated from her mother and eventually sat down, trembling with fear.

Now, let’s talk about my initial thoughts about the situation. First, I immediately felt 100% responsible for this fawn. Never mind there were two other guys there, I decided it was all up to me to fix the situation. My mind went to concerns that the mother was rejecting the baby and then safety concerns because the fawn was so vulnerable and there are many coyotes in the area. While I was working myself up into a tizzy, the two other guys decided to leave, which finally permitted me to able to burst into tears in peace! I felt such an overwhelming sense of love for this precious little baby. I kept looking for the mom to come back and finally decided I was probably the reason why she was not coming back. I identified a marker so I would be able to find the fawn on my way back down the path when I returned. I reluctantly started walking north to continue getting exercise, and when I looked back, I saw what I thought might be the mom deer by the road and felt a rush of hope that all might be well.

As I continued to walk further north, my brain kept offering me, but what if that is not the mom deer and the baby is there when we get back? What are you doing to do? Who do I call? How long will it take them to get there? And yes, I had obligations to fulfill and appointments on my calendar, but ensuring the safety of the fawn was of primary concern to me. So, while I walked, I worked on my mind management to come up with a plan and gain some clarity around the situation. I knew that in order to feel peace of mind, I had to choose my thoughts on purpose and distance myself from indulging in emotions that were not serving me. I had to find the right balance where I loved the way I showed up to the situation but also respectfully acknowledged my limitations and accepted the reality of the situation.

I continued walking (which always helps me with my mind management!) and developed a plan in case the fawn was still there on my way back home. My husband and I had recently come across an injured owl and in trying to get help for that animal, came across some other phone numbers that were appropriate for animals, not birds. Who knew we might need those numbers so soon? Anyways, I decided I would call one of those numbers first and ask the expert whether or not we should move the baby fawn, and get their input as to what would be the best way to handle the situation. I also decided in that moment to accept the reality of the situation no matter what it might be and understand that it was happening for me, not to me. Meaning, if the fawn was still in the grass, there was a lesson to learn, and I had to stay open to that if I was going to learn it…even if it included some sadness and the baby fawn not being reunited with her mother. I took a couple deep breaths, opened myself up to all the different ways this would play out, and was able to obtain peace of mind on purpose.

As I turned back in the direction of the fawn, I kept my mind in a good place and did not get caught up in any brain BS. I just kept thinking I am accepting the present moment as it is, I am not making it a problem, and I have a plan for what I will do if the baby is still there. I looked at all of the beautiful trees, the sparkling water in the lagoon, and the beautiful clouds in the sky. My heart rate increased a little bit as I got closer to the spot where I left the fawn, and to my greatest delight, she was not still there! And in fact, there was a deer off to my right chewing on grass and I experienced relief, pure joy, and absolute gratitude as I determined that the mom returned for her baby!❤️

So by this time, my heart was pretty full and I was grateful I wouldn’t be spending the morning trying to take care of the fawn and that she was safe and sound. That was when the lesson of all of it hit me, which was we have to trust the process. In this case, that mom deer was waiting for me to get my sorry butt away from her baby so SHE could take care of her, not me! She did not need me to intervene, she needed me to get the hell away from her baby! I literally came across a situation and my brain turned it into a drama. It was just another day in the forest preserves for the deer and her fawn. Luckily, I worked through my brain BS and did not do anything stupid to interfere. Trusting the process here was relatively easy and the outcome was awesome.

However, It is not always as easy to understand why things happen or how they will play out, and trust that it is all going to happen exactly as planned. For me, the Universe taught me that lesson last week because I had stopped trusting the process of becoming an entrepreneur and was full of doubt and fear. Somewhere along the way, I started to think something had gone wrong, and I should be doing better than I was. The problem with that is I will never get the results I want if fear and doubt are my points of attraction. The reminder to trust the process was perfect in its timing and something I am really focusing on now.

How does this apply to you? Well, we all have situations where we need to trust the process and it can be really difficult to do. You might be starting a new job and wondering how you are ever going to feel confident and efficient in your role. You may be going back to school and terrified because you don’t know how to operate technology and it is an online program (this actually happened to me!) You may be in a relationship that is rocky at the moment, and you are not sure what the outcome will be. You may have a loved one who is terminally ill, and you are wondering how long you will have to watch them suffer. You may be having trouble conceiving a baby and cannot envision a future without children. Everything that we want in our lives, requires us to trust the process and know that everything is happening exactly the way it is supposed to. How do we know that? Because that is the way it is happening. Don’t listen to your brain BS when it tries to get clarity before it is time to have it. Stay present, stay in the moment and trust, trust, trust.

In conclusion, the Universe is always offering us lessons if we are self-aware enough to receive them. In this case, that baby fawn trembling in the grass alone, triggered thoughts in me that something had gone wrong, and it was my responsibility to fix it! Lucky for me (and the deer!), I know how to manage my mind and was able to choose thoughts on purpose that led to me trusting the process and not touching that sweet little fawn. That turned out to be a valuable reminder of the importance of trusting the process and that I had actually stopped doing that with my business endeavors. I was so caught up in my own brain BS that I did not even realize I had stopped believing in myself and the process. Fortunately, the events of the morning have gotten me back on track with believing in myself and trusting the process. Join me in The Brain BS Podcast to discuss this further!

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